I'd Like To Be Bailed Out Too!

Dear Government,

I am writing you to ask that you bail me out like you have the financial institutions and maybe Detroit. I, like those businesses, have been foolish with my money and spent unwisely. I lived in the moment and did not plan for the future or develop the strategy to adapt to changing times and demands.

Sure, I could could probably fix it myself, but that would take too long. And in order for me to stay competitive in the human race, I ask for your help. And unlike some companies, I won't hold any, let alone two lavish "sales" meetings, while holding out my hand for billions in assistance. In fact, I am not looking for billions, $100,000 should get me on the road to recovery. But I would like to reserve the right to ask for more in case I am foolish again.

Thank you for your time and consideration.